A Silly Cycle Celebration

Terry rolled his eyes when I announced I was covering the Kinetic Sculpture Race this weekend.  He didn't quite get how this bohemian triathlon, which could have easily been scripted by John Waters, qualifies as a sport or spectator attraction.

You have to be there.  But since you probably weren't, imagine bicycle-powered contraptions decorated with campy themes promoting various social agendas racing (?) through Federal Hill, past the Inner Harbor, into the Patapsco, and through the mud in Patterson Park while waving and saluting thousands of onlookers, many of whom have no earthly idea what they are witnessing.

(Two perplexed Red Sox fans got caught between contestants while crossing the street by the Light Street Pavilion.  "And they think WE'RE weird," one muttered to the other.)

What makes the Kinetic Sculpture Race part of the cycling community (other than the origins of each vehice) is that the eight mile course through downtown Baltimore has become a popular exercise for recreational cyclists who join in the procession as outriders, heralds, or just groupies.  ("Make way for the elephant.  Here comes the elephant," proclaimed one of Bumpo's turban-clad escorts.) 

Before the race reached Pratt Street, four costumed "hons" (who looked like they pedaled in from 1960's Highlandtown) waited to jump into the procession.  They were all recreational cyclists who saw this as a fun way to exercise on a Saturday morning.  They wheeled in ahead of the red barracuda who was setting the pace and established themselves as Grand Marshals of this peculiar parade. 

As I watched the procession pass, I noted a number of other cyclists of all ages, including a costumed unicyclist,  riding along for the fun of it.

I didn't stay for the whole parade, but I did have to see Fifi, the Grand Dame of the Kinetic Sculpture race who has permanent residence at the Visionary Art Museum in Federal Hill.  Fifi, a confection of cotton candy pink tulle who dons red pontoon galloshes for her dip in the drink, has been a crowd pleaser since the earliest days of the race.

I departed before Fifi's perennial rival, the Platypus, passed.  I've seen the Platypus before, and he/she has a daunting display of friends, family and fans every year.  (I would not be surprised if the Platypus has his/her own Facebook page for the cult following.)

Somewhere in the middle of the pack (yes, the top award in this tournament goes to the vehicle deemed "most mediocre") was a brass band who tooted while pedaling through pylons on Pratt.  There should have been some award for that feat, too.

I didn't go to the water trials this year, but here are some past pictures of the action on the ramp. (Yes, that's Wallace and Gromit, sunny side up.)

And I can't end without a shoutout to Twitter Jay, the Johns Hopkins mascot fashioned from recycled and renewable materials.  These include bamboo harvested from the Jones Falls in the dead of night and periwinkle colored grocery bags shredded into feathers.

(Those who consider Johns Hopkins the producer of prime time docs and top flight lacrosse players forget it is also a highly regarded engineering school.  Twitter Jay was the inspiration of several of these students.)

Twitter Jay not only sported the environmental message on his pontoon bumpers, he also tweeted his position to fans via a mobile computer and GPS system onboard.

(No word on how that survived the water trials)

So while Terry is right about the questionable merits of Kinetic Sculpture as an athletic endeavor, it is a major celebration of the resourceful and innovative bicycle community.  You'll see many of these same faces (albeit without the costumes) at many of the upcoming excursions in and around Baltimore, or commuting on the ever-growing trails and designated routes that more and more people are taking to work.

(Another shout out to Nate Evans, Baltimore Bicycling and Pedestrian planner who works with us to make Camden Yards more bicycle friendly.    Bike to Work Day is May 21st.)

So as we all look forward to the meeting with Medalist Sports to consider a Tour de Maryland statewide bicycling event in 2012, remember that part of this enthusiastic community are those who dress us like tutus and slosh through the harbor and the mud for fun and exercise.

To see more pix of the race from the Baltimore Sun gallery, go to:
http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/bal-kinetic-race-pg,0,467071.photogallery